Fabulous Friday #4

These regular posts of inspiration and determined focus on what is fabulous are like buoys in the ocean. They are like little guide posts on the path towards the good life.

In the inevitable ebb and flow of existence I’m going to admit to feeling a little less than fabulous today. My recovery from post concussion syndrome and whiplash is taking longer than I ever anticipated and my capacity to remain calm and centred is eroding.

Gloria Steinem said “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”  I guess my current truth is that I have had to let go of control of my body. It has pissed me off to the point of total surrender. It is not fun. It does not feel like liberation. It does not feel like awakening or any of that good stuff. It actually feels like failure if I’m totally honest.

So in this place of surrender, with a looming feeling of failure, I offer it all up. I let go of it all. Like leaves in the river I will let the current take me away and have faith that it will all work out.

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The infinite dance

I wake from a restful sleep in a beautiful breezy sun-filled room. The chrisp white sheets crackle around me as I stretch out like a happy cat. I hear laughter downstairs as my family makes breakfast and prepares for their day.

I roll onto my side, push up to sitting and compose a grateful smile before touching my feet to the ground. I have such wonderful ease, joy and abundance in my life and I savour it for a moment before rising. Taking a deep cleansing breath I walk purposely to the ensuite bathroom. I glance at the claw foot tub and notice the empty wine glass and spent tea light candles resting on the tile floor beside the tub. This invokes a memory of gentle self love and pampering from the night before. I love the way I treat my body and nourish my soul. It fills me up and provides me with so much more to give.

I turn on the shower and disrobe. Before stepping into the steaming water I glance at my lithe, strong naked form. This body is a gift that has carried me through the many phases of life and brought two incredible souls into the world. I’m grateful for its strength, grace, renewal and figure. I treat it well and we are good friends. Stepping into the shower I let the water cascade over my head and feel the warmth drain down my back. I say a silent prayer of thanks to the water spirits and ask them to guide me to my higher self.  I feel how blessed I am and I know exactly what I want. It is awesome to let it happen. Each day is an opportunity to allow my dreams to find me; a chance to receive the abundance of life with warm welcoming hands.

As I dress I take note of the gorgeous wardrobe I’ve put together. It’s fun to adorn myself – like a walking canvas I display through the day. Descending the stairs I smell strong, rich coffee and hear the boys talking to their dad about their plans for the day. They are truly happy, supported and free to be exactly who they are.

My husband hands me a cup of coffee and our eyes meet. We know what we have and it makes us both smile. He grabs his keys, calls for the boys who eagerly bob out the door behind him. He’s off to the work he loves, dropping the kids at school en route. He’s good at what he does and it lights him up. We have more than enough and it’s a thrill to invest, spend and share our wealth.

As the house grows still and silent I take my mug of hot coffee outside. From the back patio I see the lake shimmering a playful invitation to commune. I let my mind receed and enter into the infinite abyss of pure potentially; the quantum field that surrounds me patiently waiting for my instructions. We are one and the creative dance is never ending.

What is next? I smile and let it happen.

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Find me on Twitter @tallerthanilook

Metamorphosis

There is so much pressure with a fresh page. The opportunity to create from scratch, to pick up not where I left off but at the beginning. I feel on so many levels that I’ve been reduced to a trembling puddle of goo,  nearly unrecognizable from myself. Like a caterpillar who disintegrates inside the chrysalis. Do they fearlessly give into their instinct to perform this act or is it their death they succumb to? Either way they emerge with wings.

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I’m either dying or growing wings.
I’m shrouded, limp, crumbling, giving up giving in and allowing what is.
I’m scared.
I’m humbled.
I’m ashamed.
I’m liberated from the ego that has nothing here to prove.

I feel like Sally Field

It was 1984.  Madonna was like a Virgin, the Ghostbusters were getting slimed, all the girls just wanted to have fun and Bacon was Footloose in his faded Levi’s jeans. This was the year a bubbly young Sally Field clutched a fresh Oscar and beamed, “I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”

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Fast forward to 2015. A hopeful writer pecks out her broken thoughts on a small screen and taps publish with a mix of nerves and embarrassment.

Slowly, unknown readers begin to leave kind and inspired comments of encouragement and understanding. One by one the group of followers grows and the likes are tabulated. The writer is humbled and grateful. Having found a little place for her words to live and be shared.

One way or another we are all seeking connection and recognition for our musings.  We foster the thoughts, chew on ideas, lay out a blueprint and then craft each post with the hope that the words will find another head to live in and a connection to make.

This isn’t an Oscar, I know, but it may as well be. It is proof to me that my words have landed. This is my little piece of recognition and I’m taking it to the bank. I’m reveling in this little moment and taking this time to thank you. Knowing that “you like me” is wonderful. I like you too!

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Find me on Twitter @tallerthanilook

Fabulous Friday…

In an effort to conjure health, wellness and beauty in my life I’ve decided to start a new tradition. From now, and forevermore, Fridays will be Fabulous!

To accomplish this, every Friday I will post an inspiring, hilarious, beautiful or bizarre photo lovingly borrowed from the ether or snapped by me.

May this practice sprinkle joy upon us both… (yes, I’m talking to you..)

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This fabulous reminder to love our wonderful selves was borrowed from Bruce Lipton’s Facebook page.

If you haven’t already, please do your wonderful self a favour and read “The Biology of Belief”. It’s a game changer.

Please share with me how this picture makes you feel.

I whisper to myself…

Today in meditation I spoke with the younger me.  I asked her to dream big; dream wild and crazy and wonderful things. She looked at me with a huge smile and said, “Can I really dream big? How big? Can it really come true?” I replied with an enthusiastic yes! “What you dream I live; what you believe I become” I explained. She threw up her arms, tipped her head back and twirled while she whispered “I know exactly what I want, I can see it when I close my eyes, but I don’t know how to get it.”

Recognizing this fear, I took a breath and then told her the secret I had just learned. I explained that the path effortlessly unfolds as long as you passionately dream it. Dream big without hesitation or hindrance. Dream with faith and enthusiasm.

To this she was quick to reply, ” I want to do cartwheels, laugh and joke and make people smile. I want to dance and dream and be happy!”

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My little tap dancing self.

Tears welled up in our eyes as I held her hand and said “That is a wonderful dream! Your life is beautiful;even better than you could ever imagine. Please just keep dreaming, never stop, never let go of the joy of all that is and will be.”

After having that conversation with my younger self I felt a tapping on my shoulder and heard a whisper in my ear. I realized it was my older self. She said “I am thinking nice thoughts from a yacht in the Caribbean, glass of champagne in hand. You dreamed so big, you believed so much and I am so grateful. The time you are living now is the time when everything changed. Something lifted, a door opened and you took a fork in the road towards pure bliss love, passion and belief in yourself. This made all the difference.” She went on to tell me of the future I was headed for. It blew me away. It was the future I had been dreaming of but feared would never come to be.

With a lump in my throat I said to my future self “What can I do now to be sure that this all happens the way you say?” My future self told me to abandon all fear and replace it with faith. She said “When I look back upon our life I see the path wind around obstacles that simply weren’t there except in our mind. Walk slowly with determination and joy towards that which you really desire and I promise it will all come right.”

I told her my dreams and we had tears in our eyes. She held my hands and said “You already are all those things and so much more. You live a beautiful life that is even better than you could have ever imagined.”

In that moment I realized that no matter what stage of life, all I have to do is dream big and fearlessly allow all that will be. It all made such beautiful sense and filled me with a sense of peace I’d never known.

I opened my eyes and gently returned to the present moment. I smiled and took a deep knowing breath.

Creating desire

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Stuck in limbo suffering from post concussion syndrome I feel trapped by the limits of my own miss functioning brain. During this time it’s hard to avoid walking the path of fear which inevitably leads to doubt. My feet are too inclined to march downhill. As much as I want to take the road less travelled I’m tired and worn down by pain and despair.

What I have left is my imagination. I can push forward far enough into the future that I can see myself as well again. When I close my eyes to what is I can open my heart to what will be. This is my salvation but it is also my choice. I paint the future with my mind. The colours and brushes I choose define the path I will walk.

I paint joy, abundance and freedom. I paint laughter, travel and acceptance. In my imagination I am. All that I want to be.