I whisper to myself…

Today in meditation I spoke with the younger me.  I asked her to dream big; dream wild and crazy and wonderful things. She looked at me with a huge smile and said, “Can I really dream big? How big? Can it really come true?” I replied with an enthusiastic yes! “What you dream I live; what you believe I become” I explained. She threw up her arms, tipped her head back and twirled while she whispered “I know exactly what I want, I can see it when I close my eyes, but I don’t know how to get it.”

Recognizing this fear, I took a breath and then told her the secret I had just learned. I explained that the path effortlessly unfolds as long as you passionately dream it. Dream big without hesitation or hindrance. Dream with faith and enthusiasm.

To this she was quick to reply, ” I want to do cartwheels, laugh and joke and make people smile. I want to dance and dream and be happy!”

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My little tap dancing self.

Tears welled up in our eyes as I held her hand and said “That is a wonderful dream! Your life is beautiful;even better than you could ever imagine. Please just keep dreaming, never stop, never let go of the joy of all that is and will be.”

After having that conversation with my younger self I felt a tapping on my shoulder and heard a whisper in my ear. I realized it was my older self. She said “I am thinking nice thoughts from a yacht in the Caribbean, glass of champagne in hand. You dreamed so big, you believed so much and I am so grateful. The time you are living now is the time when everything changed. Something lifted, a door opened and you took a fork in the road towards pure bliss love, passion and belief in yourself. This made all the difference.” She went on to tell me of the future I was headed for. It blew me away. It was the future I had been dreaming of but feared would never come to be.

With a lump in my throat I said to my future self “What can I do now to be sure that this all happens the way you say?” My future self told me to abandon all fear and replace it with faith. She said “When I look back upon our life I see the path wind around obstacles that simply weren’t there except in our mind. Walk slowly with determination and joy towards that which you really desire and I promise it will all come right.”

I told her my dreams and we had tears in our eyes. She held my hands and said “You already are all those things and so much more. You live a beautiful life that is even better than you could have ever imagined.”

In that moment I realized that no matter what stage of life, all I have to do is dream big and fearlessly allow all that will be. It all made such beautiful sense and filled me with a sense of peace I’d never known.

I opened my eyes and gently returned to the present moment. I smiled and took a deep knowing breath.

Creating desire

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Stuck in limbo suffering from post concussion syndrome I feel trapped by the limits of my own miss functioning brain. During this time it’s hard to avoid walking the path of fear which inevitably leads to doubt. My feet are too inclined to march downhill. As much as I want to take the road less travelled I’m tired and worn down by pain and despair.

What I have left is my imagination. I can push forward far enough into the future that I can see myself as well again. When I close my eyes to what is I can open my heart to what will be. This is my salvation but it is also my choice. I paint the future with my mind. The colours and brushes I choose define the path I will walk.

I paint joy, abundance and freedom. I paint laughter, travel and acceptance. In my imagination I am. All that I want to be.

100 reasons to write

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Let’s get one thing clear right now, shall we? There is no idea dump, no stories central, no island of the buried bestsellers; good story ideas seem to come quite literally from nowhere, sailing at you right out of the empty sky: two previously unrelated ideas come together and make something new under the Sun. Your job isn’t to find these ideas but to recognize them when they show up.

– Stephen King

All my life I have written. I received a journal when I was in fourth grade and immediately started writing about how much I hated my brothers. In time the writing morphed into doodles and hearts and words lamenting after boys in high school. It then became the conversation I had with myself about life and yearning for things not yet come to pass. As I traveled around the world it became a record of thoughts that I was lucky enough to think upon inspired from other people and their cultures. As a mother my journals became very sparsely written due to sheer exhaustion and a new focus on that which was not myself.

As my boys grow up and I’m faced with a little more time my writing is becoming more urgent. I realize that when putting pen to paper or finger to keyboard I am doing what I was meant to do in this world. In writing this blog I have found an audience, and am finally able to share thoughts that have always been private. It is frightening and also liberating.

Last night my cousin told me that she thought I was courageous for launching my words out into space and sharing them with the world. This made me contemplate the word courage which stems from the word coeur. As so many of us know,  coeur is French for heart. I’m struck by the fact that it takes heart to expose ourselves to the world. Perhaps that’s why things written from the heart are received most voraciously by the audience. In baring

our soul we connect with the reader and that makes it all worthwhile.

As I reach the milestone of 100 followers I am struck by a vision of 100 people in a room holding a book that I wrote. This image gives me chills and propels me forward into more writing and more sharing and more courage. I sincerely thank you all for being part of this journey and for helping me do what I’ve always wanted to do. I am a writer.

Find me on Twitter @tallerthanilook

Who am I when I don’t?

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Who am I when I don’t act?
Who am I when I don’t react?
Who am I when I don’t do?
Who am I when I don’t think?

Is this the existential crisis or the question that sets us free?

I know that I am not the things I do so what am I then?

I know I’m not the clothes I wear or the skin I live in so what am I then?

I know I’m not the things I say so who is saying them?

If I do nothing what am I?
If I do nothing am I still worthy of love? Is the love I receive in this world based on doing or thinking or looking a certain way or acting in predictable, prescribed ways?

Would you still love me if I stopped doing and only was? Would I still exist?

Is my soul just a waft of smoke contained in bone and skin?

Find me on Twitter @tallerthanilook

Hard time

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I’m always giving myself a hard time.

Have you ever heard someone say that?Have you ever felt deep inside that you are giving yourself a hard time?
Do you criticize and critique your every thought, every move, every action… thinking that somehow it will propel you to be better.
Do you think that doing this protects you in some way? Think it will make you smarten up or behave or do the right thing or be the right person?

The truth is it will do nothing but cut you down and make you feel awful. Harsh words reduce and diminish they don’t inspire and ignite. Whether said to yourself or someone else criticism is not what makes us grow. It is love and compassion that makes us better.

If we get what we give in the world and we spend so much time giving ourselves a hard time it makes sense to think that what we would receive in return is a life that feels hard,  feels difficult, like it’s beating us up.

Whether we like it or not we are part of this cycle of giving and receiving and if we continue giving ourselves a hard time that’s what we will get. Give yourself a break.. give yourself love and compassion and you will receive that in return. Look for examples of how you are in the cycle of giving and receiving in your life and you will see very quickly that it is true. Look for beauty and it will find you. Give into the temptation to find what feels good and your life will be full of things that feel good.

Find me on Twitter @tallerthanilook

Coming up from within.

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I am in awe
Blown away
Can’t ever unsee
What I saw tonight
Thankful for the awakening

I am abundant
Connected and pure
Can’t ever change what is
Only how I see
And my eyes are open

I am love
Can love myself
Without guilt or self hatred
And still be ok 

Coming up from within
Can’t stop me now
Bursting with life
With a smile on my face

The journey goes on
Never starting or stopping
Just going forever
As love does in me

Find me on Twitter @tallerthanilook

Go giving…

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It seems the people I admire the most are those who give. They give their advice, they give their love, they give their time.  They give freely without expectation.  They give with integrity and honesty.  Imagine a mother or father’s love for their child. It is endless, it is selfless, and it is the fuel that drives life. 

Through many channels I have learned about the cycle of giving and receiving. In order to enter into this cycle you must either give or receive, but you cannot horde. You cannot hold on to things and imagine that there will be shifts in your life and movement
in your heart. You must give in order to enter the flow. 

Interestingly enough,  the work affluent means to be in the flow or to flow to

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I’ve also heard it said that you must give that which you wish to receive. If you want love – give love. If you want respect – be respectful. If you want recognition – recognize the value in others. It’s such a simple notion but all too often we do the opposite. If you ask yourself how you really feel when someone else gets what you may may quietly realize that subconsciously you are blocking the flow.

Bob Burg wrote an incredible book called The Go Giver which cleverly tells a story that sounds so much like so many.

The Go-Giver tells the story of an ambitious young man named Joe who yearns for success. Joe is a true go-getter, though sometimes he feels as if the harder and faster he works, the further away his goals seem to be…

What do you really want in life and how are you giving it? I want followers, readers, comments and a connection to the world. I will reblog anyone who reblogs me.  I will follow anyone who follows me, and I’m forever reading and commenting on the incredible work out there. What an incredible community to be part of. 

If you want me to reblog you, please send me the link to your favourite post… the one you’re most proud of. I’d love to read it.  I know this will expose us both to new blogs to read, new conversations and new opportunities.

Sincerely,
Jo Traveller.

PS the following bloggers are kicking ass at giving… And I’m humbled.

yesterday after
amommasview
Erika kind
wandering violet

Find me on Twitter @tallerthanilook

Thank you!

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As I set out to write this blog my goal was to reach out to the world. I am so grateful to have reached 50 followers today. This is a great community and I’m so glad to be part of it.

I am a keen student of the world and always interested to learn more about the human experience.  Please feel free to share your thoughts with me, I just may write about them.