I remember walking through Venice in a trance. As my eyes took in the overwhelming beauty of the city my mind reeled with questions of how history and culture had carved out this unimaginable place. Around every corner the bridges and pathways laid out a labyrinth of intrigue and story. Each doorway was an invitation to explore the nature of this way of life. How did this place come to be? Who envisioned this remarkable water lined community and how am I so lucky to be here? As I sat alone along a quiet canal, photographing homes that rose straight out of the water, I was struck by an awareness that I too was now part of its history. My own footsteps had been added to the record of time as Venice and I took each other in.
As I travel I inherit fragments of each place, and take them with me on my path. Venice inspires in me a sense of awe at what the swell of humanity is capable of. Lives and footsteps and stories combine through history, each impacting its course, resulting in the very moment that I experience here and now. As the culmination of time arrives through my senses I accept that my contribution is underway, and smile at the opportunity to make my mark. I believe that each of us are here to participate in the unfolding of time and the evolution of culture. As we expose ourselves to the world we open within ourselves new doors of understanding of what it means to be alive.
My arrival in Venice in 1996, was by train. Railpass in hand, and backpack as companion, I scraped Liras out of my pockets for cheap accommodations and dined on pizza truck delicacies drinking stowed bottles of Italian wine. The shoe string of my budget could not diminish the deliciousness of the experience but my next voyage will be by sea. I can hear the flap of the sails as I travel the coastline of Italy; taste the wine and feel the Mediterranean sun on my skin. From Rome to Venice by way of the water is a dream for me where I will once again find my place in history.
“Vacation with Europe’s elite along the sun-drenched shores of Croatia, Montenegro, and tiny Capri. Let your imagination soar as you travel through time to discover the magic of Venice, the grandeur of Rome, and the stunning beauty of the Dalmatian Coast. From the Grand Canal to St. Peter’s Square, this is a voyage of superlatives. “-www.windstarcruises.com
My whole life I have always dreamed of living a life of travel…of feeling the wind at my back and a stir in my soul. I want to allow things to unfold and stop resisting the natural current of my path. Having two young children to care for on a daily basis I have found myself buying into the ‘security’ of the pre-conceived life. Recently I have realised that there is no ‘security’ in this existence, that we must give in to our base vulnerability in order to live fully and in the present moment. At 40 years old I am taking stock of what is really important and finding ways to please my restless heart and fill my soul with the nourishment it deserves.
This photo is from a camping trip my family took to Mitten Lake near Golden BC. It is one that captures all I want in life. I am deeply in love with the man in the plaid shirt, am inspired by the incredible determination and effortlessness of my two boys, and together we are on the edge of something incredibly beautiful. Can we take the plunge? Can we really design our own lives?
I have recently been struggling with intense headaches, wooziness, and a detached mental state. Medical tests have been unsuccessful in diagnosing the issue. I have had to give up work and am required to ‘rest’. I feel on some level that this is a reset button…a painful yet important opportunity to just stop…stop trying, stop planning, stop fixing, stop chasing, stop doing and start being. A friend once said to me “we are supposed to be human beings but we spend all our time as human doings”.
I’m tired. Chasing my tail has wrapped me in chains that just don’t fit. I’m going to state my intentions here, hand them up to the universe, and then let go…
I want to travel the world, I want to write for a living (and a loving), I want to show my boys that they can do anything they want to do, I want to make money doing what I love to do, I want to cherish my marriage, I want to drink wine with incredible women, I want to inspire myself and those around me, I want to live in the home of my dreams, I want to receive a job offer that is too good to pass up.
I honour the feisty girl inside me…I hear her begging me to stop. I hear her asking me to come play. I am listening…